Real Talk with Tom Jansen

He’s the chocolate in your trail mix and the banana in your split. Tom Jansen is the co-owner and full-time diva of the Coal and Canary Team. He’s full of surprises and has only watched one movie in his entire life.

Warning: Check your lipstick before you come for her.

1. What’s the most unusual thing you have done at Coal and Canary?

At this point Coal and Canary has become the twilight zone, so things that once may have seemed unusual are just the norm now. I don’t think anyone thought twice when we ordered $400 of lacefront wigs for the office.

2. If you were to write a self-help book, what would the title be?

List of People I Hate

3. What was your favourite rejected candle name?

Either our entire Indian food collection

- Tandoori Skewers and Delhi Sewers

- Taj Mahal and Big Bowl of Dahl

- Mango Lassi With my Bollywood Posse

or our rejected Christmas line

- Saskatoon Berry with Joseph and Mary

- Lemon Zest and Sins He Confessed

- Nice Long Hair and Sandals He Wears

4.If you could make one food have no calories for the rest of time, what would it be?

The KFC Bahn Mi from Cornerstone, but it’s already zero calories so next question plz.

5. What smell do you love?

Rose and Black Licorice

6. What smell do you hate?

Leather or the smell of gasoline

7. Tell us something that would surprise us about you?

If I tell you, it wouldn’t be a surprise. Buy a lady a drink and maybe you’ll get a chance to open her chamber of secrets.

8. What is your most basic guilty pleasure?

I have seen the Sex and the City movie at least forty seven times and can quote the entire movie. Tbh I still always cry at the scene on New Years Eve when Miranda is alone eating Chinese food after Steve picks up Brady and Carrie comes over in her pyjamas and fur coat wearing the sequin toque and Auld Lang Syne is playing and its just a magical moment in all of our lives that we will cherish forever.

9. What is your personal motto?

GGGGAG - Good God Girl Get A Grip

10. What job would you want if you didn’t work at Coal and Canary?

Well, I suppose I would resort to using my nursing degree, however my dream job would be Jewelry Peddler in Mexico.

11. Who would you like to play you in a Hollywood film?

Who I would like to play me: Ryan Gosling

Who would actually play me: Halle Barry

12. What is your go-to studio sing-along?

I like to show off my vocal prowess and range to the staff so either a good Toni Braxton slow jam or specifically the high note in Kelly Clarkson’s “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”.

13. What is your favourite cocktail?

I love a good gin fizz, negroni and a nice old fashioned all at the same time.

14. Do you usually go with your head or your heart?

Heart 100% of the time. My head is always on a different planet.

15. What makes you smile?

The scene from the Sex and the City movie when it’s New Years Eve and Miranda is alone eating Chinese food after Steve picks up Brady and Carrie comes over in her pyjamas and fur coat wearing the sequin toque and Auld Lang Syne is playing and its just a magical moment in all of our lives that we will cherish forever.

16. If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?

I’d go back 27 years and have someone introduce my mom to a really hot Spanish guy with flowing hair, a six-pack and a full juicy two handful butt.

17. If you spent a day watching movies when you should have been at work, is it time wasted or well spent?

Tbh just sounds like a normal day.

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